So something interesting (or at least I think so) happened on my way back home:
It's Friday night and I'm heading back home, catch the MRT like usual, get off at my station, head to the bus stop and wait for my bus to come. So I sit down on the benches looking towards the traffic keeping an eye out. Even though it's past midnight and there isn't a lot of traffic it's still pretty hard to identify the right bus you want at night.
Whilst I'm waiting, a car pulls in and stops, the window winds down and a guy probably in his late 30s or early 40s looks my way and starts talking. Couldn't hear what he was saying so thought maybe he wanted directions or something so I go up to the window. The guy asks me if I need any help.
"Oh no, I'm just waiting for a bus" I reply.
"Where you go I can take you" He offers,
"Oh no it's ok thank you"
"I can take you where you need to go, just say"
"Oh I live nearby and there's a bus that comes very soon so I'll just wait"
"You're not Singaporean?"
"No I'm not"
"Where you from?"
"England"
"you speak Mandarin?"
"No, sorry I can't speak Mandarin"
"I friend you, can take where you need to go"
"No, it's o.k. thank you, there should be a bus that's arriving soon"
"really can take, you will wait for long time now"
"I think a bus should be coming in the next few minutes, I normally wait for this bus anyway, but thankyou very much!"
"Sure?"
"Yes, thank you, I really appreciate the offer. Thank you"
Then he drives away.
O.k. so the conversation wasn't word for word, but the content is more or less the same. The weird thing is I did consider at one point to get into the car, but common sense said no of course, and in these circumstances it's important that I listen to it, even if I don't normally. But this situation got me thinking; Singaporeans are generally nice people, but are they that nice to offer a random stranger a lift to their choice of destination? Of course there's two ways that it could have played out if I had got into the car. Chances are he was being genuine and just wanted to help, and then there was a chance it could have gone terribly wrong.
After he drove away, I thought "This is Singapore, people are gerneally quite nice and I think it's safe to trust Singaporeans... He didn't seem to be too weird or dodgy... I'm one girl waiting at a bus stop late at night... maybe he did genuinely just want to help?... If I was a guy I think I would have definitely taken up the offer... if the driver was female... I think I would have taken up the offer too, but would still be a bit wary to begin with." Weird how gender roles play a huge impact on this type of situation. Also, even though Singapore has low crime, it doesn't mean no crime.
I messaged my local friends to ask if this kind of behaviour is normal, they all said no and hoped that I didn't take up the offer. But I do wonder how it would have played out if I did get in the car? Some of the most interesting things happen if you take risks right?
Then my bus arrived and I got home safely.
So are Singaporeans really that nice and can they be trusted completely?
Estranged
1 month ago
Hi!
ReplyDeleteThat's so weird because I had a similar thought on Friday as well. I was driving out from my Junior College, was there on behalf of SMU. The journey out from my JC to the main road is really long and I saw a girl walking out. I contemplated offering her a lift but eventually I figured that she'll not take it up.
I guess people occasionally can be genuinely nice but in a Singaporean perspective, people tend to err on the side of caution. For this girl that I was thinking of offering, there are probably 2 outcomes. If she's lucky, she gets a free ride out. If she's unlucky, she might get kidnapped. I think the potential costs definitely outweigh the benefits in this case.
Thanks Terence!
ReplyDeleteInteresting, so it seems there are genuinely nice Singaporeans out there but we just exercise more caution than anything else in these circumstances (at least for a girl any way).
I guess the rule is just exercise some common sense, caution and be very aware, make sure someone knows where you are or where you're supposed to be.
Oh goodness hun, I hope you really don't accept any offers of that sort if you ever visit Malaysia! Glad to see you're enjoying Singapore! I lived there for 3.5 years and really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. When i was in Mexico, i had a few of these experiences. I said yes to almost every one of them and had a great experience with each stranger whose offer i took up. If i was you honestly i would have taken up the offer. Then again if the same situation happened in Mexico or India and if i was you, i'd probably say no. Generally i think Singapore is such a safe country that i couldn't imagine facing the prospect of a "hostel" kind of a situation. I think in such situations instinct rather than common sense should be your guide for decision making. I said no once in Mexico to these 2 kids who were trying to ask me to go with them to the train station because the last bus had departed. I said yes at first and then said no because they started to say we're not trying to hustle you and i could smell some alcohol on both of them. I got paranoid because they started to get paranoid thinking that i was getting paranoid. As a principle of common sense, generally you don't accept such offers at night. But i think it really depends on the kind of energy the stranger gives off and your alarm bells should naturally start ringing, if it seems dodgy.
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